A Series of Unhappy Events

A Series of Unhappy Events

This past Saturday I received a call from “The Hobbit” asking me to join him at our usual bar until his husband also my best friend, “My Giant” clocked out of work down the street from where we were. Of course I put it into high gear and was out the door and on my way help our barman babysit him.

I arrived at “My Giant’s” work to find he had taken a break to visit his husband. So off I strolled down the busy colorful street. About a block away I saw him exiting the bar lighting a cigarette and coming towards me. As he drew nearer I knew he would be heading back to work. We stopped long enough to hug and exchange pleasantries and comment on the fact that “Farmboy” might end up coming down to visit this weekend. Of course I was excited but at the same time wishing I had chosen a better outfit to be seen in since I had worn the exact same clothes the previous weekend on our camping trip.

After parting company with “My Giant” I quickened my pace to reach the all too familiar doors leading to a dear friend. It didn’t take long to scan the afternoon crowd to find who I was looking for. I walked up to him wrapping my arms around “The Hobbit” and said hello. He was immersed in a crossword puzzle that he had teamed up on previous to my arrival. We replenished his drink and grabbed a new drink for me as well before we headed back to our table to see if we could complete all the answers.

The puzzle proved harder than imagined since we couldn’t remember the titles to several of a disco diva’s songs; given that several of the clues were of that reference. Having given up, we soon found ourselves with an enormous amount of time on our hands. To disperse of that time we made a few phone calls asking fiends to come out and join in the entertainment. I ended up exchanging a ten dollar bill for a roll of quarters so we could pass the time with pool like I always do.

By the time we had each won a game, familiar faces started showing up. In particular was “Partboy” who had just arrived from work. I had a burning question I needed to ask concerning his work and a product they may or may not carry. I was happy to hear that it was sold there and needed to show up when he was working to see if it was in stock. I can’t wait to get my hands on this new toy; the recipient will be very happy to open this gift.

What seemed like only minutes could have been an hour before “My Giant” appeared again declaring that he was finished with work for the day still in his uniform. We had a nice gathering of people we knew and were taking turns playing pool, chatting, or working on that infuriating crossword.

The afternoon was spent with everyone laughing and talking as they drank. The next thing I know, I’m hearing a conversation coming out of “The Hobbit’s” mouth that I know for sure that not only had “My Giant” said not to mention in public earlier, but I as well had, turning gabbing his attention and reprimand him for bringing up so casually to an acquaintance. My comment being brushed aside by “The Hobbit,” I immediately sought out his husband to back me up in what I had just said.

This however didn’t go quiet the way I had planned. Yes, “My Giant” did indeed pull his husband aside and explain what he had just heard, but “The Hobbit” having had a few drinks took high offense to this “ambush.” He returned to the table where I had been chatting trying to keep an eye on the conversation that was at hand, to berate me and give me the cold shoulder as I apologized for having pulled rank.

Never having been on the receiving end of one of “The Hobbit’s” disputes I had no idea as to how to handle his anger seeing him walk away to the bar for another drink. It was my turn to challenge “My Giant” in a game of pool to which I played very badly seeing as how my mind was elsewhere. He leaned up against me mid-game trying to give me pointers on how to reconcile with his husband; I replied I had just said almost the same thing word for word.

A moment after having received his drink, “The Hobbit” returned to the table to where I was being nudged to go over and attempt once more at an apology. I stalled by taking my turn, missing, to hear from “My Giant” that he had walked off to the bathroom and now would be a good time to corner and talk to him. I took a sip of my drink for courage.

Running after “The Hobbit” in pursuit, I opened the bathroom door to find that he was not in there. Nor was he anywhere around the bar as I turned to head back to the pool table. I reached “My Giant” to relay what I had found, or the lack there of finding the person I was after, to a puzzled and concerned expression. He picked up his cell phone, to which it was apparent who he was calling, while I eavesdropped.

Things were certainly headed down hill as I listened to a pissed off man tell his husband that he was going home. Why on earth do things have to be so difficult? “My Giant” abandoned the game to take this phone call outside. Whatever else was said in the heat of the moment I do not know. Several minutes passed before he re-emerged into the bar taking up his pool stick to finish the game.

Sitting over our beers gabbing, I grabbed “My Giant’s” cell stepping out the front doors to make a phone call. Judging by the time I had arrived to the time it was now, “Farmboy” should be close to parking his car in a nearby lot and joining us for drinks. Hearing a familiar voice on the other end of the phone, I asked when we might be expecting him. Sadly I heard a reply in the negative. I told him that I missed him, then proceeded onward to asking if I would be expecting him this upcoming weekend to go camping with us. This time I received happier news. I was filled with excitement. I asked how long it would take him to move this week hopping it might not interfere with him coming on the trip. Again more good news; it would take a few hours and all would be done. Knowing I had had a few beers in me I drew the conversation to a close before I said something stupid letting him know I couldn’t wait to see him again.

Feeling better that something was going right I suggested “My Giant” and I head upstairs to hang out seeing as how the sun was getting lower in the sky. We walked right into an old familiar face I hadn’t seen in years. He briefed us on his moving away for a few years and his return a few months ago while introducing his friend who took a liking to me the moment he set eyes on me. We all talked getting to know each other. The old friend and “My Giant” hit it off right away leaving me to get to know the new guy.

Being left alone and having revealed a portion of information about each other, the guy I was talking to started making his affections known. I tried to resist his efforts by getting to know a pair of ladies who were mindlessly staring around the bar. Starting a new conversation with new people seemed to work for now. I ended up buying a martini after I slowly finished my Guinness sharing a sip of it with my new girl friends.

At some point I took to the bathroom to relieve myself. Upon exiting and catching out of the corner of my eye in the non-smoking lunge, I saw where “My Giant” and our old friend had disappeared to deep in conversation. I stepped in and beckoned them back out to the crowd that was starting to gather on the upper deck.

The six of us stood around till a table cleared then we all huddled around it talking the night away. Somehow someone in our group knew a guy that came up and started talking to us. We were then surrounded by a group of his friends. Come to find out they all play softball for various gay teams which I know people on. We talked about my having played rugby and how most of them wish they had the extra time to play as well. Sports talk filled the air for a while before the ladies took off to go home for the evening. Suddenly after their leave, the softball players took off for another bar leaving the four of us alone again.

The guy who I seemed to have attracted some how took this as a sign to start again with his advances. “My Giant” at some point told him that I was taken emotionally which I was half listening to before I realized what he had said. This guy wanted to know if my ass and cock were taken since my heart was. Great, how the hell was I suppose to answer this? Yes it’s true I like “Farmboy,” but it will for the time being not be anything more then a fling. On the flip side we are not a couple and I have no obligation to be faithful to him, yet I felt the guilt as if I were his monogamous partner.

I somehow sidestepped the question just as “My Giant” answered his phone walking inside. We sat around for several minutes before noticing he had not returned. I took this opportunity to make a round of the entire bar both upstairs and down to find him. No luck as I would have it. The three of us remaining made up our minds to head down to keep an eye on the doors. Luck would have it that I ran into a friend that I asked if he could drive me home as soon as I found a way to ditch the two I was with and finish my game of pool I had started before he showed up.

Given the game plan, my ride was supposed to meet me across the street in front of the coffee shop. Fate seemed to have liked this plan, because as soon as he was gone and the game over my two companions wanted to leave for another bar as I refused saying I was going to stay looking for my friend. With them walking down the sidewalk with their backs to me I hurried across the busy intersection greeting my friend.

Out of nowhere a friend working at the coffee shop that I had seen earlier on his break at the bar summoned me to buy him some pizza from across the street shoving the money into my hands. My ride and I consented and made the pit stop. While in the pizzeria the smell of fresh pizza seized me. I was going to have to come back as soon as I delivered the requested pizza with change. Ugh, I was starving and hadn’t realized I hadn’t eaten at all that day. I counted the remaining cash I had on me and was told I could order a small pizza; I jumped on it.

It took what seemed like forever to cook while I talked to my friend and impatiently watched TV with him. Soon we were off again heading towards his car with pizza in hand. I managed to garble down a piece of the scalding pizza as we drove towards my house. The conversation was light and easy. I asked about his love life and the last I had heard of it. It shocked him to lean that I pick up on subtle hints that he had mentioned on prior occasions and knew more about his love life than he suspected me to know. I also invited him to go camping with us; which he may or may not do. Dropping me off and giving me his number again I waved him off saying he should think about camping.

I had no idea how drunk I was from not having any food in my system. By the time I reached my bed tearing off clothes I was barely able to make out the pizza box that I was cracking into. I managed to finish off two-thirds before I couldn’t eat anymore. I returned a phone call in my drunken faze to “Queen Bee” and tried calling “Farmboy” who I was missing and wanted to cuddle with so awfully badly. I stowed the box away took a piss and landed on my pillow before I was passed out; so much for a crappy evening that ended quite abruptly.

Peaceful sleep did not come easy. It was filled with dark images that haunted me. Around five-thirty in the morning having tossed and not able to find a comfortable spot, I woke to a dizzy state. I wondered what “Farmboy” was dreaming of; and had he found peace in his subconscious mind. I lay there trying to picture him on his bed in his pajamas with the sheets pulled halfway around him as he lay on his side with a grin on his face peacefully. I wanted his fingers entangled with mine; his breath pulsing on my neck as we lay there together drifting off to sleep.

The one great thing I can say about “Farmboy” is that no matter what I imagine in my mind, being in his presence is greater than anything I could ever dream up. He has a great aura about him. He puts me at ease when he’s around. It’s the rest of the time that I’m away from him that my mind starts to wonder and confuse itself. “My Giant” is right, I need to stop thinking about the ‘what if’s’ and live in the now. If there’s anything that troubles me about the two of us I should ask “Farmboy” instead letting fear creep into my mind. After all it’s a sign of trust if I’m willing to share with him my thoughts.

As the moments passed, thinking back over all the things I didn’t know about “Farmboy” and what I wanted to ask, I finally was able to find some peace of mind again. I reached up turned on a bedside nightlight and groped around for the recognizable texture I was looking for. There under my hand I picked up the thick novel and began again where I had left off on the Harry Potter adventure I was rereading. Shortly after ending a chapter I grew tired again. Thinking of wrapping my arm around “Farmboy,” I drifted off to sleep again for a few more hours of peaceful sleep this time.

Upon waking I grabbed the computer to check my e-mail. To my horror I found that I had received a message from someone that I hadn’t expected to have read my blog. He had found my blog through another site that I had listed the webpage on. I was furious with myself. How could I have been so careless as to let someone I detest with every fiber of my being read the inner workings of my mind, body, and soul? I was disgusted. He knew about the mundane goings on in my life. I felt robbed. He should have never been able to read about the people I care most about in my life. Even though I’ve given them aliases, he still knew about them. I wanted to vomit.

What’s worse, I realized the fact that he can read my blog any time he so chooses. I’m sure he has bookmarked the page so he can scan it everyday since he has nothing better to do than keep up with the on goings of someone’s life who he is no longer apart of. I felt violated. I knew that anyone could read this blog at any given time from anywhere in the world. What I didn’t realize was that by ‘anyone’ that meant people I so choose not to interact with in life. How could I be so stupid as to outpour my heart blindly about people I love knowing that there are vultures out there waiting to feed, that I don’t want them to know anything about me?

All day my mind was clouded with this fact. I felt naked and robbed as I tried to put it from my mind. I spent the day reading to take my mind to happier places. Now I am trying to figure out a way to hide this information from those who I care not to have reading this. What am I to do? I am sure there is no sure way to stop him from reading my private thoughts that I write down; that my only option is to remove all the content and stop writing about my life altogether. But if I do that then he has won. Maybe not an obvious victory to him, but a victory in the fact that he has made me want to hide from him even further.

I’m tired and frustrated. I’m taking leave to read and then find something to eat. I will attempt to keep everyone up to date on my life as soon as something interesting happens. Cheers mates.